Layne’s Wine Gig Presents
UNICORN WINE HUNT
By Layne V. Witherell
If you Google up “unicorn wine” you get not only a slew of mixed wisdom from the reigning sommelier god of the moment, but you can also get steered to a wine club, or label design company, or maybe even your next gig. Take your pick. There is always somebody out there in the internet world who is willing to dig their hand deep into your pocket.
Let’s keep it simple and say that a unicorn wine is something that you must search for and maybe won’t appear again. Which brings me to the subject of this column: an ever so delightful read, the just released book “South of Somewhere: Wine, Food and the Soul of Italy” by Robert Camuto. This isn’t just some random guy wandering and traveling in southern Italy. Mr. Camuto is a full-time paid journalist working for The Wine Spectator – the world’s largest consumer lifestyle wine magazine. He is on a mission of unicorn hunting among the unknown, barely known, and soon to be discovered.
His stated thesis is a journey to connect with his grandparents’ old stomping ground in the far south of Italy, while interviewing and hanging out with a wonderful cast of eccentric winemakers to observe how rural Southern Italy is changing. It is a search for the modern granddaughters of the contadini (peasant farmers) who are making “new discoveries among old vineyards” and who are creating a new generation of unicorn wines to send to their “ardent following in Tokyo, London, Brooklyn and Los Angeles.”
EMIDIO PEPE
He has been making wine in the Abruzzo region for sixty-five years and is the master of the red Montepulciano d’ Abruzzo (average $135.00 bottle) and the Trebbiano d’Abruzzo white (average $110.00 a bottle). The older vintages can run $1,300 a bottle in restaurants. This is semi-unicorn territory with pricey wines and scarce availability. When last seen locally his wines were on the list of the late great wine bar Lio in Portland, and hopefully haven’t fallen off the distribution planet in Maine, but it happens.
Pepe is important because he is an unassuming gentleman with very unconventional winemaking ideas that may seldom be seen again. He totally forgoes oak barrels, ages his wine in glass for decades, and hand decants each bottle before release. This is your taste of ancient Rome. The picture with my wife Judy was taken in our favorite wine bar in Rome.
He has three daughters who are adorned in “jeans, summer blouses, and stylish sunglasses” and are plugged into social media. The grown kids have carved out little pieces of the family vineyard and have adapted it to their own ideas. Keep your eyes out for the wines.
The Abruzzo region is on every savvy modern wine drinker’s radar now, as well it should be. There might not specifically be an Emidio Pepe wine in your future, but there are tons of choices available from the region.
FRANK CORNELISSEN
Mount Etna in Sicily is an active volcano imbued with mystical properties of soil, location, cultural layering of history, local reverence, and that awe inspiring terroir combined with a spiritual linking of them all. There is an increasing addition of a new crop of aspiring sage winemakers.
The original “Mac Daddy” was Frank Cornelissen, a Dutch day trader, wine importer, and explorer who “became Etna’s zealot with an avid following.” I have had his wines and they are eccentric, wacko, and overpriced. But that was his biodynamic phase. “He seemed to be making manifestos against the modern world.”
Frank has settled down now and his wines are usually just overpriced.
The biggest obstacle to this book is that Mr. Camuto never says what the wines he is drinking cost. You need your phone plugged into a wine search engine and look everything up for the real shock value to kick in.
Try Frank’s Magma Rosso at $300.00-$600.00 per bottle. “I once watched a couple of English speaking straniere (foreigners) order a bottle in a restaurant in Lingualossa, and what poured out was not red but cola brown. They seemed surprised but did not reject it.”
Now THAT is a cult wine!
The secret to success for people in the “natural wine world” like Frank Cornelissen consists of the following formula:
- Have an eccentric personality- so eccentric that people believe every word you utter. Say “geeky” a lot.
- Own or rent a tiny vineyard, the older and more out of the way the better.
- Discover or grow grapes that NO ONE has ever heard of.
- Establish a cult like following with your tiny importer, distributor, sales reps, and retail and restaurant staff.
- Be relentless in your social media promotions (daily is best).
- Search for people who are eager for your latest story.
So why this book?
Camuto interviews lots of fascinating, under the radar winemakers in regions that you may or may not be familiar with. It is a delicious read, but its major deficiency, other than no information on pricing, is the lack of an index. If you want to keep track of the personalities and their newfound long-lost grapes bring a pad of sticky notes to plaster throughout the book, labeling as you go. Still, at $25.00 per copy it is cheaper than two little adorable pours of natural wine.
I do like the profile photos scattered throughout. Very Italian, with each winemaker pointing in a different direction, a great juxtaposition.
THE OTHER PORTLAND: HELP WANTED AD
PAIRINGS is a wine store located in the other Portland and I was drawn to the fact that we are getting closer to them than you think in vibe. On their website you can sign up for the wine “Astrology two pack,” match a wine to your sign, or the “personality pairing six pack,” which includes stubborn, inventive, warm, or grill master. There is, of course, the “wine pairing to anything pack,” tight pants, sincere, stylish, etc. My favorite is “Wine 101 Virtual… Wine tips with the wine guy” for $300.00. They don’t call it Portlandia for nothing.
Or, if you simply want to move out West you can apply to their help wanted ad for a “Sunday Wine Slinger and Storyteller.” You must know stuff about natural wine, but in addition to Sunday from 12-7 you MIGHT additionally work from 5-8 on several weekdays. But it is a “fun, cheerful, perky atmosphere.” There is the “invite your friends that will want you to pour for them” part (infomercial). Also, there is the typical save the planet pitch, in addition to understanding Insta and Tik Tok. “Or perhaps you are a seasoned sommelier looking for non-soul sucking work.” I predicted the glamorous Sommelier world would be in for an awakening, but not one this soon where they begin to eat their own.
Don’t forget to bring your trust fund. It looks like you will need it. The unicorns aren’t just the wine anymore.
Layne’s Wine Gig
For an afternoon of snark, fun, and wine, come to LAYNE’S WINE GIG on the 3rd Thursday of every month 5:00-6:00 p.m. at BLUE, 650 Congress Street. 4 pours of 3 oz. each. Best to check the website for updated vax and mask policies as they are changing all the time: Portcityblue.com.
Layne has been a professional in the wine business for many decades as a teacher, importer, writer, competition judge, and winery CEO. He was awarded the Master Knight of the Vine for his pioneering work in the Oregon wine industry.
Read more WEN Layne’s Wine Gig posts here.
Visit Layne’s blog at http://winemaniacs.wordpress.com/blog.
