Layne’s Wine Gig Presents
THE PROBLEM WITH WINE
By Layne V. Witherell
There is an ocean of excess wine out there trying to find a home, your home, any home (as long as you are 21). Global predictions hover around 150,000 acres of planted wine grapes that must be rooted up with no takers. Fifty thousand of those acres are predicted for California alone based on their recent grape grower’s symposium. Washington State, the number two producer in America, slashed grower contracts by half. One and a half billion bottles have vanished in sales since the pandemic. With no end in sight, the wine trade calls it “squinting for good news.”
In the civilized history of wine (5,000 plus years) there has never been better quality, availability, or distribution. So, what went wrong?
I guess that I am in a better situation to tell the story and offer some solutions than most. First, I have 49 years of experience in all aspects of the biz under my belt. I have written four hundred articles on the subject over thirty years, but mostly, there are no bosses breathing down my neck to convince me to be less than honest, or at times politically incorrect. What we need today is a solid dose of agenda-free reality. Let’s look at ourselves for a moment in that harsh mirror.
Every wine writer has their thing, from The New York Times weekly immersion of politically correct kumbaya, to the wine writing rep trying to push their “wine of the week.” This is one of the problems with wine, there is too much chatter and too many hidden agendas. In this era of hysterical diversity, inclusiveness means everything and nothing. It hasn’t worked.
THE ANTI ALCOHOL MOVEMENT IS ALIVE AND WELL
Low or no alcohol wines are trying to climb up in quality and need to get real in price but are still gaining a foothold. There is an additional problem with the “health paranoid” consumer staring blindly at every label like it is affixed with skull and crossbones. Optimism, not paranoia, would help.
The “Better for You Movement” in wine practices a slightly lower degree of paranoia than the pure anti-alcohol movement. Its leaders are Bota Breeze, Fit Vine, Cupcake, etc. They bring a lower alcohol, lower carb count and duller flavor profile. At least they are still made from grapes. Creating a new brand in a minute is a frantic Hail Mary pass. The numbers are great for now, but I was there when White Zinfandel conquered the world and then turned into an instant flaming train wreck with no customers in sight.
THE INTERNET: JOSH IS EVERYWHERE
This is a classic internet moment. Social media user Rashad Eason, @Optimus_grind, a self-proclaimed wine and snack food expert posted, “I’m gonna keep telling y’all to grow up and leave that Stella and Barefoot alone.”
This garnered a zillion viral replies and memes featuring the Josh wine brand, in addition to an appearance on Today.com. From an ordinary wine to icon with the push of a button. Hopefully, this absorbs some of those excess California grapes.
GEN Z AT SEA
They seldom take but a moment to leave the captivity of their phones and indulge in a sip or two of their favorite Hard Seltzer, the Gen Z preference of choice. The millennials are skipping away from hazy craft beer and the Gen Z people are headed in their own direction.
Hard seltzers are typically made with real vodka or malt, real juice, and sparkling water, no sugar, and gluten free with around 5% alcohol. The problem is both generational, with advertising and internet presence, combined with the distribution power of their large producers. In this scenario, saving the grapes doesn’t stand a chance.
MILLENNIALS & BOOMERS
The former are in debt, don’t own houses, many have kids, but are buying wine and aren’t afraid to spend some bucks for it. The competition is simply a zillion quality craft beers and artisanal cocktails. If you think that little 250 ml wine “Tetra Pak” will save you… just ask Europe – it hasn’t. It all hinges on disposable income. There is the competitive mystique of high priced “natural” wine combined with buying phones and pot, all of which are expensive.
We Boomers cut our teeth on the wines and platitudes of the late, great Robert Mondavi. It was all about wine in moderation with good food and family. You can sum up his entire 360-page autobiography “Harvests of Joy” with the one-line dedication from the Roman writer Petronius, “Wine is life.”
A THOUGHT ON THE SUPER BOWL
Over one hundred and twenty-three million people watched the Super Bowl, including my wife Judy and me. This is the huge, multi-generational audience that the global wine community simply can’t afford to ignore, especially in an era of competing tastes and likes.
The Gallo winery came close to getting it right. They paired their Barefoot Pinot Grigio with the Kelce brother’s mom and her hot dog recipes. That’s a start. Our global wine community needs to create a “We are the World” spectacular set of ads telling a globally positive story of wine. “The Super Bowl is one of the last of the truly communal TV experiences,” said TV historian Robert Thompson. The beer people, chip people, and even the Jesus people got it right.
The next Super Bowl is in New Orleans in 2025.
WHAT WE SAW AT MARDI GRAS 2024
We know NOLA from our years of visits, Mardi Gras exploits, and restaurant attendance. This is an ideal setting with their world class restaurants and wine scene. It is some of the greatest dining in the world on all levels. Showcase it and showcase the glories of wine. Enlist celebrities and wine people to bring their energy and love.
COURT OF TWO SISTERS, 613 Royal St., NOLA
A romantic, idyllic setting of old New Orleans with two major things to showcase: A world class wine list that is globally and regionally diverse and highly regarded. Best of all, this is the home of the Krewe of Cork, the Wine Society of NOLA. We attend their parade yearly during Mardi Gras and it is simply THE most joyous celebration of all things wine. This is the epicenter of wine culture in NOLA.
As we reveled in our gumbo, duck, and turtle soup, entranced by our glasses of Elk Cove Pinot Noir from Oregon, I glanced over at the adorable Gen Z four top admiring their selfies and phones, drinking neither wine, seltzer nor even their water. “Oh, my gawd,” Gen Z is gone from us, and probably Alpha, next in line, are hopelessly phone addicted.
THE PROBLEM WITH WINE: WHAT TO DO
Selzer, low, and no alcohol aren’t going away any time soon, but there is hope. Instead of grubbing up that excess Cabernet, Nebbiolo, and Zinfandel, many of those vineyards can be grafted for the time being to the high yield French Colombard grape to make into sparkling wine (think mimosa in a can or an adorable little container), 5% alcohol vodka for seltzers, or just an easy to drink entry level white wine lower in alcohol, like a Pinot Grigio. Modern winemaking technology makes this grape both versatile and exciting.
We’ve got time. Grandparents are always cool several generations down the line. Stick around for a while Boomers. Our idea of wine and food as an interesting everyday healthy beverage might have a chance to catch on again. The kiddos just might look up from their phones and say, “You interviewed Robert Mondavi? Damn you’re cool.” We have nothing to lose but a couple of hundred thousand acres of grapes.
-All photos courtesy of Layne V. Witherell
