LAYNE’S WINE GIG
By Layne V. Witherell
Yes, this is the heading of my column, but it is time for a little shameless promotion. This month’s column is about another “gig,” namely the one I do monthly live on stage. A gig in this case is a “live performance in a club, on stage, with an audience.” It is a wine event with a bevy of interesting wines, but there is a lot more. I have spent over forty years giving talks and classes on wine from university lecture halls to three-star restaurants and exclusive country clubs. But this is more interesting, different, and a whole lot more fun.
More than a wine tasting
Blue, the music club at 650 Congress Street, Portland, is an iconic, locally revered jazz club surging with energy and fresh ideas, including rock and spoken word performances. It is a stage where I have been honored to have seen my local and national heroes perform, and for the past several years to put all my energy and experience every month in front of a great audience. The Gig can be light, erudite, howlingly funny, or a total snark fest depending on the material. The wines and the subjects always change monthly.
Frankly, I seldom attend wine tastings anymore. They are always advertised as “curated”: carefully chosen and thoughtfully organized. Mostly, they come directly from a sales rep or wine textbook’s sell sheet. I have lived what I perform onstage, and it bears no relation to the dull tastings that have more in common with watching paint dry.
Every month I share ideas from a wide variety of ancient, modern, and up-to-the-second sources that the “curated” wine people can’t imagine exist. Over forty years I have assembled a rare books wine library that I bring together with the most recent thoughts and controversies. Cool stuff.
This is jazz performance – an improvisation on stage with wines that neither I nor the audience have previously tasted. The wines are chosen based on the theme of the evening, which culminates with all of us becoming our own winemaker, a creation composed of joining the wines together in what I call a “Mendo Blendo.” Yes, we make and comment on our personally created wines.
How it works
July’s topic was “Wandering Grapes.” Two whites and two reds, but that’s just the beginning. The wine menu includes a second helping of thoughts:
Australian Sauvignon Blanc with the story of Brian Croser, “the most formidable intellect in the Australian wine industry” (1988). His winery share got bought out from under him leading to decades in the wine wilderness. In 2023 he has emerged once again, reinvented as a genius. I ran a winery and often told the tale of when the shareholders get delirious, a common affliction in the business. The wine tastes somewhere in flavor in the middle of a grapefruit bomb from New Zealand and a chunky, citrusy California Sauvignon Blanc. Perfect for blending.
Semeli Moschofiero, (Nemea, Greece). Moschofiero, a Greek white grape that clones itself at random in the vineyard, resulting in a wide range of flavors and styles. The ideal grape for Mendo Blendo resulting in a full, rich luscious white with energy and zest when splashed with the Aussie wine. Look mom, I’m a winemaker. Dazzle your friends with this one.
Terres Blondes Gamay Loire Valley by Martine Saunier. The Gamay grape wanders throughout France, is fresh and classic French, but the story is Martine. She is an older, feisty French wine importer who lives in retirement in California. Martine has known and seen everybody but needs a young person to write her biography. Most importers spend their days on the road (I know, I was one) and fall into obscurity. Instead of you chasing that sommelier pin and a dead-end restaurant job, look her up: “Martines Wines.” That book is your career.
We tasted the Gamay and blended a Chiara German Pinot Noir, 2021, Pfalz, from grapes brought originally by wandering monks in the 8th Century. A splash of Gamay for fruit and Pinot for calm acidity and a touch of tart cherry. It’s your call. We just created a wonderful refreshing summer porch drink.
LAYNE’S WINE GIG EYEROLL WINNER OF THE MONTH
We close each Gig in true snark fest fashion. Every month I dig into the juiciest wine news and do a little reporting with the audience, sharing our thoughts. I scour for the wildest piece of winebiz.com info or other juicy reporting that occurs and pops up on my radar. The following is my suggested must-read article.
“MAGGIE HARRISON’S WAR ON WINE,” NEW YORK TIMES MAGAZINE, July 4,2023, by Alex Halberstadt.
This was the brainchild of the editors of The New York Times, “tapping into the old topes of wine snobbery” (Jason Wilson, author of “Godforsaken Grapes”), by sending a non-wine writer to interview a brilliant praying mantis styled winery owner on her turf with an entirely unconventional set of ideas not only about her region in Oregon, but the world as well, Antica Terra in Dundee, Oregon. Look this place up.
It is metaphysics and “art” in a wine disguise. Maggie had him at “hello.” This was truly a disastrous set, match, game moment for the author, but the excitement is ignited for every clueless wine blogger on the planet, as well as the weighing in by some heavyweights. The article will be talked about for decades to come. It is a trainwreck and a gift that keeps on giving.
Here’s the full disclosure part. In my many decades I have both run a winery and, during my Sundays over twenty-seven years, managed to write and have published 564 newspaper and magazine articles about wine.
Winery people clearly have home court advantage. “Wine resonates within the environment of its consumption” (Clark Smith, author of “An Ideal Wine”). They can always bend and twist the narrative at will. You are their captive audience.
As for wine journalism, this 4,000-word piece is quite long for a wine article. I have broken down the subjects into categories to show how it works. Usually 950-1,200 words.
These are the basic types of wine articles that you will experience.
Tasting Notes: A simple article listing wines. Can include travel pieces and winery profiles. If you are on your own, it is good. If a distributor pays, it becomes a propaganda piece.
Seasonal Pieces: Thanksgiving, etc. Cookie cutter articles. Dailys love this stuff.
Critiques and Diatribes: When a winey or industry does stupid things. These appear in local independent magazines.
Activism: The latest article on biodynamic wines.
Fawning: This is when the subject blows away the writer. Every wine writer has a few of these in their CV. The “Maggie” article is the classic.
You get to dig deep into all the pros and cons in the 150 plus replies on the site wineberserkers.com. Wine education, enlightenment, and snark does not get any better than this. Scroll down for replies, especially, “Does wine writing have to be so embarrassing?” by Jason Wilson.
Spend an afternoon reading it to truly experience why people scramble and claw, waiting on her list for years to spend $350.00 for a bottle of her cult wine. Maggie is a consummate magician, doing a Mendo Blendo of ten different barrels of wine with the author that leaves poor Mr. Halberstadt, rookie wine writer, tangled around his brain.
As a winery pro this is routine stuff. For Maggie it is part of the magic act.
LAYNE’S WINE GIG
I wrote this article as an introduction to people new to my “Gig” event, but also to announce a new day and time:
STARTING THIS MONTH:
LAYNE’S WINE GIG at BLUE 650A CONGRESS ST.
FOURTH WEDNESDAY FROM 6:00-7:00 P.M.
Get out of work and come to be entertained.
