Twelve – Layne’s Wine Gig

Layne’s Wine Gig Presents

TWELVE

By Layne V. Witherell

Mostly, for the past 25 years or so, I have written wine-based columns with a wide assortment of food ideas sprinkled in. I guess this piece can be termed a “calling” because of both the unprecedented buzz and the fact that over $350 of our hard-earned money was just spent to both live inside the buzz and experience a dinner here. There was no West End News expense account – just my hard-earned cash. We dine out so often in Portland that our names should be inscribed on a brick placed in Monument Square.

Let’s start at the beginning. Some of my comments are responses to an article by Andrew Ross in the March 12, 2023, Maine Sunday Telegram, “Twelve isn’t perfect but has many high points.” I admire his work, but in this piece, I found too many nagging questions both before and after visiting this newly anointed temple of gastronomy buzz.

ALL THOSE BRICKS

They disassembled brick by brick the original structure and put them back into place at 115 Thames Street in Portland, “while introducing uneven lines and surfaces into the space,” and don’t forget the salvaged beams and ethereal ceramic art. You should get a bill for all that before you even sit down.

ALL THOSE C.V.’s

There are lots of people working in the kitchen – veterans of Per Se, Eleven Madison Park, Tartine – resumes, resumes, resumes. Hope they found housing here before the opening because the commute from Parsonsfield can get a bit rough. One thing they didn’t seem to lack was staff. And our service was exceptional.

Note: we are already spoiled by a superb dining scene and don’t dazzle easily.

PRIX FIXE MENU

The one thing they forgot to bring along is a copy of Webster’s New World Collegiate Dictionary: “Prix Fixe (is the) set price for a complete meal…” Oh, sorry, we forgot the Parker House Rolls with smoked pecan butter for an additional eight bucks and the Lobster Roll served warm, with butter for twenty-eight more bucks. I guess they could coin a new term: “modified ala carte.”

Appetizers

THAT LOBSTER ROLL

This is where our local food critic Mr. Ross ducked out after seeing a couple just add an extra seventy-two dollars to their bill. Sadly, he didn’t try it. They probably would have offered him a bite if he had told them who he was. We did add it to one of our dinners and the addition was worth the experience. The lobster is contained in a little wrapper of a delicate puff pastry, served warm and without overdoing the butter. Between Eventide and Twelve, the modern, gourmet, elegant lobster roll is being redefined.

GRILLED SCALLOPS

These were among the freshest scallops that we have ever tasted. I know, sauce is a thing, especially when you moved here from wherever to dazzle us. In the summer it won’t just be the fresh-from-the-ocean crazed locals, and they will be more appreciative of that wonderful celery root, green apple slaw sauce. For me, it is the scallops.

Just invite Rod Mitchell, our local caviar and all things fish purveyor, to give everyone a tutorial on how the late, great Jean Louis Palladian (first three-star French chef to land on these shores) taught his crew in 1988 how to locate and differentiate “diver scallops.”

MAIN COURSE

BAKED HALIBUT

Not since our dinner at The Lost Kitchen – in the good old days when the meal was closer to $150 per person with a BYOB, not the current $250 – have I tasted halibut as tender or flavorful.

This is where the confusion begins at the table. Four of us with different food interests and thoughts. You must figure out wine and food pairing about the time that roasted beet salad starter arrives. I always search menus and wine lists weeks in advance.

WINE SELECTION AT TWELVE

You know a visit to Fore Street can be comfortably reliable with red wine, even with their grilled fish. Or a boldly oaked California Chardonnay like Ridge. Scales’s dishes can always work with an energetic white like Zind- Humbrecht Pinot Gris from Alsace. But this place is a totally different wine pairing world altogether. It is the reincarnation of Surf and Turf, the time worn classic from the 1950’s updated.

If our local food writer has palpitations over a twenty-eight buck lobster roll add on, then your bill rises exponentially as you order wine. My bill always does. He got off easy with a cheesy $16 California Cabernet by the glass.

The restaurant’s motto is: “We try very hard to be accessible to everyone who comes in.” Their wine list shows it. The problem is: What goes with Surf and Turf and fits within your budget? For that matter, what goes with Surf and Turf at all?

We wound up having a “Cru” Beaujolais Julienas Domaine Du Clos Fief by Michel and Sylvain Tete, 2020, $60 per bottle. Bright, floral, spicy and structured. As good with the scallops as with the meat. Two bottles, please – we were a four top after all.

You can fly among the Opus One world in the $800’s or Ridge Montebello in the $500’s, but we were all perfectly pleased with our delicious “Cru” Julienas.

NEW YORK STRIP

“Don’t try to fool a steak man,” said Gael Green of New York Magazine.

The Hasselback potatoes were worth the price of admission. They should have been an extra twenty bucks for a larger portion to add to our “modified ala carte.”

“My main course of New York strip was a revelation in its construction…” Mr. Ross’ conversation with the chef reminds me of when I sit down with a winemaker, and I know that I am listening to a well-rehearsed monolog that is long in form and a tad short in substance.

When I think of a New York strip my mind wanders to a half pound, thick, rare piece of beef, not a silver dollar sized pancake.

DESSERT

I never have dessert, but here is where the total buzz comes in. Pastry chef Georgia Macon seems to be the star of the hour holding it all together with their dessert flourish. Gingerbread crème fraiche and buttercrunch was a highlight.

“The dessert alone was worth the $82.00 prix fixe cost,” commented a New York blogger. We too travel the world and are not easily fooled. No, I would not spend eighty-two bucks on dessert!

DESSERT WINES

We were spaced out enough by the dinner to forget to order from their short but impressive dessert wine list. From Tokaji to Vin Santo, older Tawny Port to older Madeira, it’s all there.

“I don’t expect perfection, even when I leave a restaurant $300 lighter for a two-person meal,” noted Andrew Ross. And now Twelve is making the rounds on social media, with national food critics looking for the next newest thing to write about – which happens to be here, together with our high-powered food résumé obsession. I guess in some ways we resemble all our food obsessed visitors.

We might return, but probably in January when the tourists are in their warm climes and there isn’t a frantic need to get in. By that time the next big “It Girl” restaurant will attract our gaze and they will repair that “prix fixe” sign that is broken. And maybe, just maybe, we can get out of there for a tad under three bills. One can only hope.  

Layne’s Wine Gig – Every 3rd Thursday

Don’t forget about Layne’s Wine Gig every third Thursday from 5 to 6 p.m., at Blue, 650 Congress Street, Portland. You get four three-ounce pours, the opportunity to do a little blending of your own, and the chance to learn in a fun, relaxed environment. More often than not, I am tasting these wines for the first time myself! FMI, check out portcityblue.com.