By Tony Zeli
Even if you don’t celebrate, the dark days of winter and holiday brouhaha can cause anxiety and stress. In fact, in northern climates, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) can affect as many as 10% of us. So, what can you do to combat the gloom and stress? I talked to a compassionate leadership expert and fellow local publisher – and friend – Whitley Marshall.
Shortly after her crowning as International Mrs. USA during New York Fashion Week, Whitley Marshall sat down with me to share some self-compassion advice to help readers get through the holidays. Whitley is an artist, activist, and entrepreneur based in Portland, who focuses on the markers of true beauty: compassion, strength, diversity, and body positivity. She publishes ArtLoveLifestyle Magazine, the current edition of which is themed, “Compassion is Beautiful.”
Whitley recommends intentionally focusing on self-compassion to reduce your own level of stress. This is the crucial first step in holding compassion for others and having the energy for the holidays.
“In pageantry… it’s not the dresses you choose to present on stage that make you win, it’s the energy that those garments make you feel that is projected that is what people in the audience and the judges can feel,” says Whitley. “So, beauty is really more of an energy of confidence in my opinion that people can feel. So, set yourself up to be your most confident self.”
What self-compassion during the holidays could look like:
- Set aside time for yourself each morning for goal setting.
- Increase mindfulness, meditation, or exercise practices to “chemically hack” your brain to promote happiness and de-stress.
- Get outside in the sunshine.
- Go on a hike.
- Set aside time for those you want to spend time with or intentionally set aside time alone.
Also, consider these compassionate shopping tips when gifting:
- Support local artists
- Shop locally
- Support local farmers
- Be realistic with your budget
- Choose not to give materially but give quality time of yourself
“Another way to lead with compassion is to hold the value of compassion outwards. So that could look like charitable giving – it always feels good to give to others – or volunteering for a soup kitchen, donating food, or inviting someone over for the holidays who may not have family.”
Also, consider showing compassion for the earth. Don’t buy plastic, reduce your use of wrapping paper, and think of ways to conserve heat. Consider eating a plant-based meal each day to reduce your environmental impact.
Most importantly, Whitley reminds us to quit the negative self-talk and “embrace your own authentic beauty. It is our differences that make us beautiful.”
To get into that mindset, intentionally wear things that make you feel like your most confident self.
Also, remember to spread compassion to others. This begins with awareness.
“While we’re facing our own stresses, everybody else at that holiday party also has things going on,” Whitley reminds us.
Set yourself up for success. Start by supporting your own mental health and be willing to let people know that you care about their mental health. Listen with an open heart; be willing to open your own mind.
“Try to surround yourself with people who inspire you and lead with the values you hope to lead with. And intentionally lead by example yourself,” says Whitley.
And when someone at the holiday gathering gets you down, remember the holidays set you up to react out of stress. Pause and reflect before reacting.
“Reflective listening is the best active practice I’ve found,” advises Whitley. “Make sure you know what the other person is saying before reacting. Recognize that they come from a perspective with a root need and feeling associated with it… See it for the feeling and need behind it, and you may find a solution. Stepping back and reflecting can help with that…”
One last note from Whitley. Remember, especially around the holiday season, to intentionally look into different traditions across cultures and participate in new cultural events.
It’s all about having fun and expanding your own compassion. Happy Holidays!
Tony Zeli is publisher and editor. Contact him at thewestendnews@gmail.com.
