Layne’s Wine Gig Presents
OVER-OXYGENATED PORTLAND
By Layne V. Witherell
Just how many “best lobster roll” articles can we stand before we explode? Seems like every newly minted mental midget wannabe writer must weigh in on their all-time favorite, after sampling “count ’em two” lobster rolls.
For national foodie mags they serve as space fillers when they are lacking new material, trying out new writers, or just being lazy. It is not the lobsters’ fault. Is lobster overrated? HELL NO! When it is freshly caught and from here… Lobster is ethereal. The lobster is great. The hype and celebrity-based pricing is painful.
Here are some helpful hints on surviving our oft-hyped, over-oxygenated Portland’s lobster roll scene:
LUKE’S LOBSTER (60 Portland Pier)
Take an Uber as it is a lot cheaper than the over-the-top privatization banditry parking meter fees on the pier. Great bay vistas. Fresh and local. Lobster roll: $27.
EVENTIDE (86 Middle St.)
Pay a person to stand in that hour-plus-long line while you go across the street and either briefly nibble on upscale sushi at Mr. Tuna or participate in the all the time happy hour at a locals divey favorite Tomaso’s on Hampshire Street. Lobster roll: $ 20. (PS: They invented the much copied “bao bun” in leu of the traditional hot dog roll.)
HIGH ROLLER (104 Exchange St.)
Show up early and don’t forget to feed the meter. They will ticket you in a heartbeat. This is one of Portland’s all-time tax revenue providers. Remember snowbirds get off tax free in Maine. While you are here do buy some merch just to be cool. The aesthetic is Bissell Brothers hipster with an aura of 50’s diner thrown in. Lobster cheese crisp taco anyone? They are authentic in their own hipster way. Lobster roll: $17.
TWELVE (115 Thames St.)
Nowhere in Portland is the hype machine turned up to a higher gear than this over the top “best if someone else is paying the bill” restaurant. We indulged once on the prix fixe dinner on my nickel, and I will leave this place to the homesick New Yorkers. Lobster roll on the prix fixe, of course, is $28.00 extra, but it has been lovingly caressed by the chef. At $39 ala carte (available at the bar) that’s a lot of caressing, touching perhaps the hem of his resume.
SCALES (68 Commercial St.)
The real deal. We remember when they had a little retail oyster bar in the original Portland Public Market that was way before it’s time; just us and the oysters pre the hype machine. Now in their luxurious digs, you have the sublime indulgence of valet parking. And if you are wise to book a window or outside table, you can revel with a view of the crazed masses at the Porthole across the way. Always authentic Portland. Lobster roll: no price listed (the valet parking makes up for the tariff).
The Real Deal
MAINE OYSTER COMPANY (38 Portland Street)
There are always upsides and downsides. The neighborhood has been groaning toward gentrification for decades. Businesses have come and gone. Parking is easy with surrounding streets meter-free, but outside is like a very funky street fair. Remember, you aren’t in Kansas anymore.
However, inside has the feel of an old-time oyster and lobster shack with ancient wood paneling combined with an authentic vibe. AND it is local. I enter this place in a state of awe and reverence. In over-oxygenated Portland, it is an oasis of the real. This is what we call home.
FOOD MENU
Panzanella Salad (for Judy): Heirloom tomatoes, mozzarella, sourdough, cukes, herb vinaigrette, $13. Wash it down with an Austrian rose from Anton Bauer for $10/glass.
Lobster Dog (for Layne): Featuring 2 oz. of lobster meat topping a “red snapper” dressed with aioli, $19. For those of you who are from away, a red snapper is an original Maine hot dog, not the fish. For $50.00 you can get a serious upscale version with a lot more lobster and sturgeon caviar. My wine of choice is the Weather Sonoma Coast Pinot Noir with the elegance for the lobster and the meaty Pinot Noir character to work with the dog for $15/glass.
Lobster Roll: $29.00. Chardonnay Fleur de Chardon: $11/glass. Sancerre, when it is available and the gods shine on you, would be $16/glass.
From time to time, they will feature a ridiculously good homemade chowder as well as a toro tuna or other catch of the day.
ON DRAFT at Maine Oyster Company
Maine Beer Co. Lunch (the holy grail): $8. Allagash White (classic): $7. And Zardetto Prosecco: $9.
AND OF COURSE THEY HAVE OYSTERS: Selection varies nightly with lots available. On our most recent visit, they featured Beso del Mar, Chebeague, Nauti Sisters Farm, and Nonesuch.
SHUCKING CLASSES: $55 per person as they assist you to make your way through becoming a shucking pro with expert instruction accompanied by twelve oysters. Knives, gloves and delicious toppings provided.
Your Roadtrip Destination
BASECAMP
(47 Wallace Circle, Phippsburg)
The Maine Oyster Company is all about a place (and state of mind) called the Basecamp, their headquarters where it all begins. About 50 minutes from Portland via Bath. It is a group of businesses “nestled in the village of West Point” that takes you into the heart and soul of real Maine – where the lobsters and oysters thrive and get delivered live and fresh to the Maine Oyster Co. restaurant or your house.
It’s all here. The lodge, the store, the classes, the tours “from unfiltered engagement with local lobstermen to dirty hands-on oyster farming.” Want to throw a party, lobster bake, or practice oyster shucking till you drop? This is old school Maine.
The good news is that there are a zillion little inlets in this state, and while Portland has become over resume-ed, and over-oxygenated with a never-ending, hyperventilating corps of bloggers, freelancers, and press agents, there are things left in the world that are not to be mucked with.
Frankly, we found the Maine Oyster Company almost by accident. I booked a $75 three course dinner with oysters, lobster thermidor, and a glass of Prosecco thinking that it was the lovely little spot on Washington Avenue. We got in the car to make our way to dinner, and I asked my wife, “Are you taking me to Bubba’s before dinner?” No, we had just found our new favorite gem.
We have never regretted that decision. Want a real definition of farm to table? We have been to the farm and thoroughly enjoy being a local and “regular “at our favorite table. In an over-oxygenated Portland, they are the real deal.
